You might have been told that you should say "I," not "you," during tense discussions or arguments. This is true! "I" statements are a great communication tool —when they're actually used.
"I" statements require more than just putting "I" at the beginning of the sentence.
The best "I" statements use this format:
An example of an "I" statement is "I feel hurt when you don't speak up for me in conversations with your parents." Another example is "I feel unimportant when you make plans without telling me."
It's important that what follows "I feel" is an actual feeling. Thoughts and feelings/emotions are two distinctly different aspects of the internal experience, but they're often confused.
One way to tell a thought from a feeling/emotion is to remove "I feel" or "I feel like" from the front of the sentence. If what remains still makes sense, you're probably dealing with a thought. If what remains doesn't make sense, you're probably dealing with a feeling. This may not work 100% of the time, but it's a place to start.
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