What Is Religious Trauma?
Religious trauma happens when religious experiences cause harm—mentally, emotionally, or even physically.
Sometimes it comes from one major, painful event.
Other times, it builds up over years—like growing up in a strict faith system where questioning wasn’t allowed. For example, if you were raised in purity culture, you might later realize how much it shaped your feelings about shame, self-worth, or relationships.
Religious trauma can also stem from fear-based teachings, authoritarian leadership, or being ostracized for asking hard questions.
What Is Religious Deconstruction?
It’s stepping back and asking, Do I actually believe this? or Does this align with who I am?
Some people end up leaving religion entirely. Others reshape their faith into something more authentic.
Either way, it can feel disorienting, especially if your identity, relationships, or sense of purpose were deeply tied to your faith.
You’re allowed to question, to feel lost, and to take your time.
Healing and deconstruction aren’t quick or easy,
but you don’t have to do it alone.
When religion shapes your whole world, questioning your beliefs can affect everything.
How Religious Trauma and Deconstruction Affect Mental Health
It’s not just about beliefs—it’s about identity, belonging, and security.
When that foundation starts to shift, it can bring up a range of emotions:
- Guilt and shame
- Loneliness and isolation
- Confusion and grief
- Anxiety and fear
How Religious Trauma and Deconstruction Affect Relationships
You might be struggling with:
- Family members who don’t understand your faith shift and see it as a betrayal
- Friends or church communities who have distanced themselves from you
- A partner who still believes while you are deconstructing—or vice versa
- Feelings of loneliness, isolation, or being "in between" beliefs
I provide support for exvangelicals and former fundamentalists, including those who identify as ex-Evangelical, ex-Mormon, ex-Catholic,
ex-Jehovah’s Witness, or former members of
high-control religious groups and cults.
Common Myths
about Religious Trauma & Faith Deconstruction
Not necessarily. Some people leave religion behind, while others reshape their faith in a way that feels more authentic. Deconstruction isn’t about rejecting everything—it’s about finding clarity.
Religious deconstruction is often a deeply painful and scary experience—precisely because the person once believed so strongly. Letting go of something that was central to your identity isn’t easy, and if you never truly believed, questioning it wouldn’t be nearly as difficult.
Deconstruction isn’t about looking for an excuse to “sin”—it’s usually the opposite.
Many people going through this process are deeply committed to their values and want to live with more integrity, not less. They’ve simply started questioning whether their religious beliefs align with those values or if they need to rethink what they’ve been taught.
And for the record, deconstruction is far from easy or enjoyable. Most people don’t go through it because they want to, but because they have to.
Faith and therapy don’t have to be at odds. If you broke your leg, you’d likely pray and go to a doctor. Mental and emotional health deserve the same care as physical health.
Religious trauma isn’t just about churches—it can come from belief systems too. Just like two people can experience the same event but process it differently, faith traditions that bring peace to some can be deeply harmful to others.
For many, it’s not just a toxic church environment that caused harm but the beliefs themselves—especially when those beliefs instilled fear, shame, or a sense of unworthiness.
Good counseling isn’t about convincing you of anything—it’s about helping you process your experiences and understand how they’ve shaped you. My job isn’t to push you away from faith but to create a space where you can explore your thoughts, emotions, and values without fear or pressure.
“One’s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation, compassion.”
— Simone de Beauvoir
“The Coming of Age”
Therapy for Religious Trauma, Spiritual Abuse, and Deconstruction: How I Can Help
I offer a space where you don’t have to defend your doubts or explain why you're struggling.
Whether you're processing religious trauma, unpacking purity culture, navigating family tension, or figuring out what you still believe, counseling can help you make sense of it all—on your terms.
As a therapist specializing in religious trauma and faith deconstruction, I help my clients through:
- Healing from religious trauma and spiritual abuse
- Processing purity culture, shame, and self-worth struggles
- Navigating deconstruction without guilt or fear
- Addressing anxiety, guilt, and PTSD-like symptoms related to religious experiences
- Exploring new values, meaning, and identity—inside or outside of faith
- Coping with family, community, or relationship shifts caused by religious change
Rebuilding Identity & Meaning After Religious Trauma
You don’t have to have all the answers right away. But while you’re figuring it out, counseling can help you:
- Rediscover your values—without fear, shame, or external pressure
- Build a sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to religious expectations
- Explore new sources of meaning and purpose—whether spiritual, secular, or a blend of both
- Develop a sense of belonging outside of faith-based communities
Navigating Relationships, Family, & Community After Deconstruction
Therapy can help you:
- Set boundaries with people who don’t respect your journey
- Communicate your beliefs (or doubts) in ways that feel safe and authentic
- Process grief and loss from changing relationships
- Maintain or rebuild connections with loved ones while staying true to yourself
Using ACT to Support Your Healing
But you don’t need to replace one rigid belief system with another.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you move forward by focusing on what truly matters to you.
ACT is about:
- Making space for your thoughts and emotions—even the painful ones—without letting them control your life
- Learning to unhook from religious conditioning that instilled fear, shame, or rigid expectations
- Discovering or reconnecting with your values so you can create a life that aligns with who you are now
- Taking action instead of staying stuck in doubt, guilt, or anxiety
“Mary Katherine Lance's compassionate and warm nature coupled with her knowledge of religious trauma make her a deeply supportive therapist who helps client feel both understood and empowered.”
—Jordan Hemphill, LMSW
(Ellie Mental Health)
In-Person & Virtual
Religious Trauma & Deconstruction Therapy in South Carolina
I offer in-person and virtual counseling for religious trauma and faith deconstruction across South Carolina. Whether you prefer face-to-face sessions or the flexibility of online therapy, you’ll have a space to explore your beliefs, heal from past experiences, and reclaim your identity.
Reach out today to start healing and rebuilding a life that aligns with your values.